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Joke of the Day

"All this ""Kaine is boring"" talk is your reminder that nowadays Abraham Lincoln would have to know parkour or some shit"

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"Why is Caitlyn Jenner's stomach bad for you? 'Cause it's full of trans-fat."
"Difference between priest and acne? What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until puberty to come on a kid's face."
"The road to success is always under construction."
"hello, hello ! 911 ? 911 ? Yes, Sir, what happened ? ""I think my wife's dead"". ""What happened, Sir ?"" ""Well...she's lying in bed, cold and stiff as usual, but the dishes haven't been done in 3 days !"""
"My dentist said I have a very wet mouth. *Updates dating profile."
"What's the difference between Jeb Bush and my toilet? My toilet is still running."
"What does 90-year-old pussy taste like? Depends."
"How come white girls can only count odd numbers? Because they can't even."
"What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom? One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America."