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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a retarded psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at-large!"

"I tried to catch some fog... I mist."

"Subway sandwich artists seem like they'd rather kill their mother with an AIDS hammer than give you extra toppings."

"What did one guy say to the other at the gay bar? May I push in your stool?"

"What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire? Bernadette."

"What did the noble gas sound like when he laughed? He He He"

"If you enjoy sitting around and doing nothing, I'm your girl."

"""Did you know it's impossible to lick your elbow?"" ""No it's not. Here, try!"""

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea I won't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Tell the punchline first. How do you ruin a joke?"