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Joke of the Day

"#Parenthood Throwing a ball to a two year old is like....well...playing ""throw a ball and go get it yourself""...."

"My husband said I was unfeminine, so I socked him in the mouth."

"And the Lord said unto John ""come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"My Friend Failed Astronomy... I failed too, if it's any constellation."

"Knock knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave breaking down into an emotional wreck and mess of tears at the realisation that the Alzheimer's has finally taken hold."

"The was this democratic elevator stuck in the basement it kept getting down votes."

"I can only handle girls that are a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, or 10 on the hotness scale. Cause 7 ate 9 so they're probably not interested in me."

"I divorced my wife because she made a horrible april fools joke April fools"

"Did you hear about the new Playboy magazine for married men? Every month it has the same centerfold."

"I like when websites ask ""HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US?"" Haha paranoid much?"