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Joke of the Day
"My Friend Failed Astronomy... I failed too, if it's any constellation."
Next Joke
"How do you get a Warriors fan to stop masturbating? Paint his dick Cavaliers maroon and yellow."
"Women are like condoms... ...they spend too much time in your wallet and not enough time on your dick."
"I was just asked to give my credit card details. I said, ""It's rectangular, blue and not very valuable."""
"I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band I have a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too."
"My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived from eBay. It's about time."
"Are you the 7th planet from the sun? Cause I sure would like to probe Uranus."
"I went to the store today to stock up on bread, beer, and Captain Morgan just in case Hurricane Sandy decides to double back to NC..... Always good to be prepared..."
"How to make a girl furious in 2 steps... Step 1, take a picture of her Step 2, don't show it to her"
"Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. Edit: TIL Reddit has very strong feelings about my mother."