199022

Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the best way to accelerate a Mac? A: 9.81 m/s2"

"all restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough"

"What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub? Gorillas in the mist"

"Why did the GameCube controller get off the boat? Because he got a little c-stick."

"Pedophile Kids who are scared of pedophiles really need to grow up."

"Called my boss this morning. Told him I couldn't come in because I had anal glaucoma. ""Anal glaucoma?"" ""What's that?"" he asked. ""I just can't see my ass coming in today."""

"Why does the can crusher hate his job? Because it's soda pressing."

"Why is divorce so expensive? Who cares?? It's worth it!"

"I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me"

"What did the fat math teacher say after a large Thanksgiving dinner? (-1)/8! Edit: I clearly don't know how to math."