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Joke of the Day

"I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you."

"Don't hate the player, play the player. They never see that coming."

"What is the tallest building in the entire world Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories."

"Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb? Too much work."

"Why don't lobsters share their dinner? Because they're shellfish!!!"

"Did you hear the guy who invented predictive text has died? His funfair will be held on a sundial. Funfair* Funfair* For ducks sake..."

"I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD"

"Love is like peeing yourself everyone can see but only you feel the warmth."

"Smart people don't call themselves smart - me included."

"What do you call a trapped fly in a frying pan of stir fry? Your mum"