198964

Joke of the Day

"I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat."

"Russian family conversation ""Papa, can I have 10 rubl?"" ""20 rubl? Why you need 30 rubl!?"""

"A cowboy walks into a gay bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls."" The bartender replies ""Moo?"""

"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"

"What do you call an elf that sings? A wrapper."

"I'd probably have more friends if I didn't answer every call with ""Why did you save my number?"""

"[hat shop] OWNER: Sir stop or I'll call the police UNICORN: [surrounded by damaged hats] No one will believe you"

"Why are monkeys pedantic? Because they love nitpicking."

"The Avengers all went for dinner. What did Bruce Banner have? HULK'S MASH!"

"I just went on a date with a woman that had 12 nipples.. Sounds funny, dozen tit?"