198918
Joke of the Day
"Optimistic Thought of the Day: You are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome."
Next Joke
"did you know jesus was irish? true story, he never held a job, had twelve drinking buddies, and his mum thought he was god....."
"So this pirate walks into a bar and he has the ships wheel attached to his hips. The bar tender says, ""wow that looks uncomfortable!"" The pirate responds, ""ARGH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"""
"When a computer program says ""Not Responding"" I start texting it stuff like ""Who are you with?"" and ""Just heard our song"""
"You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! You get an ark! -Noahpra"
"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""
"I just saw a guy with a mustache exactly like my grandpa's. I doubt it was his though; grandpa never let anyone borrow his mustache."
"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you're twelve before it comes on your face."
"What did one condom say to the other at a gay bar? Let's get shitfaced!"
"Why won't pigs take up jogging? They don't like to get that far from the table."