198842

Joke of the Day

"Its too expensive to put up Christmas lights these days. I'm just going to hire a bunch of Mexicans to sit on my roof with flashlights."

"It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life."

"What does the old Nazi call his favorite reclining chair? Mein Kampfy chair."

"What did drunk say to the blonde? Nice ass."

"Probably the worst Rule ever is Ja."

"If God wanted us to save money for retirement he wouldn't have invented online shopping"

"Hickory hickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest got away with minor injuries"

"When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb."

"I dont always roll a joint... But when I do its my ankle."

"Don't trust Bernie Sanders... A Jew wanting to break up the banks doesn't make sense *not meant in any way that would be seen as prejudice *obligatory post trigger warning"