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Joke of the Day

"""IF YOU'RE HAVING KNITTING PROBLEMS I FEEL BAD FOR YOU SON--"" ""stop rapping, Grandma"" ""--I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A STITCH AIN'T ONE"""

"I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire."

"Joke - I asked God I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25."

"What is the dirtiest day of the week? SaTURDay"

"I like how all these people are acting like they've never seen a naked 37 year old man fight 3 security guards at a mall food court before."

"What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family."

"Where does the dentist get his gas?...At the filling station"

"The women protest movement this weekend was historical. I've never seen so many women have PMS on the same day."

"What sound does a frog make while jacking off? Rubbit Rubbit"