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Joke of the Day
"What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them."
Next Joke
"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip."
"What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown"
"The most attractive thing about you is your gravity."
"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."
"What kind of joke is the best joke? The one shoved up your ass. (As told by my adorable and naughty 7 year old)."
"what do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off"
"How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?"
"Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon"
"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint :)"