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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to learn karate but I really need a new belt"

"The man who created autocorrect has died Restaurant in peace"

"Women: Think of every guy you have ever been friends with. He has jerked off to you. Good talk."

"Last night I was with a girl... ...she told me she wanted me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the jaw."

"What do you call a Mexican Girl with no legs? *cunts*-*way*-*low*"

"Two blondes are drawing money from an ATM. One of them says to the other... I love the sound of money being printed."

"What do you call meat on the back of a cow? Aspergers"

"Why was the student witch so bad at essays? Because she couldn't spell properly."

"A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother 'I hate my sister's guts.' 'All right' said his mother 'I won't put them in your sandwiches again.'"

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER"