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Joke of the Day

"I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!"

"Scientists have created a cotton plant resistant to boll weevils. When asked about it, they replied, ""It's unbollweevible."""

"My Grandma's church was odd in that they worshipped paintings. Very weird. Every week they would stand up and sing ""How Great Thou Art"""

"A few women sit at a table quietly..."

"**What's the difference between eating pizza and eating pussy?** The crust on a pizza tastes good"

"Jared Fogle just got arrested for Child Pornography Charges. I'm sure he'll be getting plenty of foot longs where he's going..."

"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."

"Why did the Chicken Cross The Road?"

"Wife: ""You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events"" Me: ""okay, I'll get out the wedding video"""

"I wish my job was more like a video game. In order to be promoted to the next level, all I'd need to do is kill the boss."