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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the lizard get it up? He had ereptile dysfunction."
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"Where do Sith lords go to shop? The Darth Mall."
"Mattel has a campaign urging girls to pursue their limitless potential. It's called You Can Be Anything Except A Woman With Barbie's Body."
"I deleted all my german friends off my phone... Its now Hans free."
"I like my women like I like my ice cream... Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer."
"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."
"I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect ""I've"" to ""me've"" and me'm really excited about it."
"If Obama said If President Obama said he was in favor of oxygen, republicans would suffocate themselves."
"What happened when Cinderella got to the ball? She choked."
"Last night while texting and driving i ran over a kid on his bike I know it's terrible but we all do stupid shit when we're drunk."