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Joke of the Day

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, pick any cod."

"Daylight Saving Time switches on November 6. That's right, this presidential campaign is an hour longer than you thought."

"Who is Jay Gatsby's favorite superhero? Green Lantern. And his least favorite? Deadpool."

"An Irishman is driving to the airport While driving, he sees a sign that says ""Airport left"". So he turns around and goes home"

"I always wanted to know what it felt like to blow $85k So today I stood in front of Annex Hall and asked the first art major I saw."

"How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!"

"When buying a new bed, don't be too quick to make a decision You've gotta sleep on it."

"My dear, departed animal companion. Although no longer with me, your name is now immortalised as part of a password I use on many websites."

"sent someone a text that said ""you need medieval catheter"" when i actually meant ""medical attention"" and i didn't bother correcting myself"

"Hey, are you a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree? BIRCH I MIGHT BE"