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Joke of the Day

"When you say ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans"" all I hear is ""there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"What is a pedophile's favorite musical note? A Minor."

"Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I'll ask him; ""so how does my lack of progress make you feel?"""

"I don't drink water, unless it's been through a brewery first."

"A dyslexic robber walks into a bank... He says, ""air in the hands mother-stickers, this is a fuck-up!"""

"How my dad taught me how to button my suit coats. He said *""Think of it like a woman; sometimes the top, always the middle, but never the bottom.""*"

"I personally don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis."

"What came first the car or the wheel? The car because a wheel isn't cary fast but a car is wheely fast."

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"My blood test results are in today. Now I have to call my ex and tell her that she has high cholesterol."