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Joke of the Day

"What happens in a chinese restaurant when the power goes out? It'll dim sum"

"The 9-year-old in me thinks life is all about fun. But then I think, how long is it gonna take to digest this kid? I'm a huge python, btw."

"I scream, you scream, we all scream, while I'm crawling under the bathroom stall to say hi to you."

"You know what sucks? Vacuum cleaners"

"Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years."

"i wish my grandmother was alive to see the iPad air her mind would have been absolutely BLOWN AWAY. she loved her gen 4 iPad."

"No amount of college can prepare you for how angry you'll get at the way people park in the real word."

"Why did the clam go to jail? For setting up illegal shell companies!"

"So there comes a man at the bakery... Bakery closed."

"In a recent court case, the defendant was charged with smuggling bombs inside of living cows... ...Upon hearing this, one of the jurors cried out, ""Abominable!"" (A bomb in a bull)"