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Joke of the Day
"A taser but for people who say ""it is what it is""."
Next Joke
"""HI DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP NICE SO WE CAN QUEUE OUTSIDE A CLUB & GET INSIDE & QUEUE UP TO BUY A DRINK & THEN QUEUE UP TO GO TO THE TOILET?"""
"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."
"What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA? Kicked out of the petting zoo."
"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell."
"""Stop pestering me. I'm trying to do my job."" -Major Tom to ground control"
"2 convicted murderers escaped a New York prison using cordless power tools. Authorities said,when they get a hold of them they will be charged."
"How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?"
"What is Mary short for? She ain't got no legs!"
"[at restaurant] -sees baby screaming in high chair -walks over & picks baby up -walks outside & puts baby down ""You're free,"" I whisper."