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Joke of the Day

"I almost got a job with Sony but the interview was cancelled"

"Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups."

"I was blind for a while after eye surgery. Those were dark times."

"My Thai girlfriend assured me that a small penis should never be an issue in a loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one though"

"A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android ""What exactly is going on?"", I asked. He replied, ""A Major engineering feet."""

"Fred Durst is starting a lawn care company. It's called Rake Stuff."

"Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail."

"18yo me (naive, unrefined): I just ate a block of cheese 42yo me (worldly, sophisticated): I just ate a wheel of cheese"

"How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was."

"What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane? His carrion bag."