198314

Joke of the Day

"So Oscar Pistorious was sentenced to 5 years of prison. In my opinion, his excuse was lame. I don't think he had a leg to stand on."

"I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant. But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby"

"two fish So there were two fish in a tank. The one fish looked at the other and said ""Hey buddy do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Masonry work is hard There's a lot of trowel and error."

"What did Victoria say to Vancouver? I'll BC-ing you later."

"Never hide regular cocaine in your butt Charges will get elevated to possession of crack cocaine"

"If at first I don't succeed, I've already met my wife's expectations."

"My signature move at parties is flirting with a cute guy for half an hour before realizing he's actually a bag of Cheetos"

"Why did the chicken dance with a fig? It couldn't get a date."

"doctor looking at his iPad: oh no, this isn't good ... Me: give it to me straight doc what is it doctor: well, I forgot my wifi password"