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Joke of the Day

"SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!"

"[tries to blow a kiss] Kiss: I have a boyfriend"

"What kind of footwear do Whitewalkers use? The Hodor-eliminating kind."

"Every time I think I've got the perfect family they escape."

"Ant: I found this book of what humans call us. I'm an ant Dung Beetle: What am I called? Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels"

"Rick Astley Will give you any movie in his Pixar collection except his favorite. He's Never Gonna Give You Up."

"Did you hear about the drug addict who went to court for flipping off the cops? It was a case of two birds one stoner"

"*phone rings* Wife: Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me: *dresses baby up in Superman costume & duct tapes him to ceiling fan* Wife - ""...."""""

"Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard? Because he's no good at shaving."

"How many Steam employees does it take to change a light bulb? Honestly Im not sure, they havent got back to me yet. It's been 3 weeks."