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Joke of the Day

"Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard? Because he's no good at shaving."

"[gets down on 1 knee] Babe will you-- ""Yeah... Here it is"" [she lends me her phone charger] Thanks"

"I tried to rob a binoculars store today... But they saw me coming a mile away"

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero because it's already lit fam."

"I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. ""Nope Unintended"""

"Two brothers were sitting on a plane One said the the other if the plane flies upside down, would we fall out? The other replies, no we'd still be friends."

"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here"

"What do blondes do after they comb their hair? They pull up their pants."

"What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion Terrible and painful, I know."

"My sister is a mathematician... She celebrates 4/20 on January fifth because it's just simpler that way."