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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature? Tequila Mockingbird"
Next Joke
"My toddler stole bacon off my plate. We all had a good laugh. Then I made her move out."
"April showers bring May flowers, but do you know what May flowers brings? Pilgrims."
"Police vs Driver Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""
"Russia's attitude towards the West is sometimes... Off-Putin."
"[desert island diary - day 1] 4:15 pm: Got one call out of my cell phone before it died. Now I wait. 5:25 pm: That pizza is definitely free"
"What do you call a wizard that puts people to sleep? Dumblebore"
"children are cool because they're the perfect height for me to fart directly into their mouths without having to really exert myself"
"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."
"Ever notice that after you and some friends order a pizza the only conversation you have is ""where the hell is the pizza?"""