198058

Joke of the Day

"No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler."

"Why do people with OCD like Family Feud? Because it's always black and white."

"Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary? It was a dead end job."

"What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? We're closed beat it."

"why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom!"

"Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech? It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine."

"Its and old, old joke... But some how it came to mind last night: ""Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"" (Tnx to Jeff Greenfield)"

"Ive recently been under the weather but now im in a stable conditon My rooms filthy and there is shit everywhere"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... so you don't know?"

"In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot."