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Joke of the Day

"I wrote a song about tortillas. Actually it was more of a wrap."

"No matter what anyone said, I was never going to take the stand. It's 1000 pages, for Pete's sake!"

"Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite. I know that joke has its faults, so I'll just accept my pumicement and go back to looking at cleavage."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and A Black Rapper? Santa stops after three hoes."

"Why do lesbians shop at the Sports Authority? Because they don't like Dicks."

"Four years ago, I asked the most beautiful girl in the world out on a date. Thirty minutes ago, I asked her to marry me. Both times she said no."

"Kindness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting."

"In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :("

"How to Talk to Women Who Are Inside an MRI Tube"

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."