197901

Joke of the Day

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""

"Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do"

"Donuts aren't actually nuts... ...they're legumes."

"Re: global warming and the cold weather ""Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."""

"2 guys walk into a bar... The third guy ducks."

"A priest asks a little girl what she knows about the resurrection She says ""I don't know much other than that if it lasts for more than four hours then you should call a doctor"""

"How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? There was a hare in his bed."

"Four years ago I asked a girl out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"What did Donald Trump say when he couldn't find his Viagra? The erection is rigged!"