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Joke of the Day

"How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? There was a hare in his bed."

"Happy National Alienate Several Friends By Calling One Friend Your Best Friend Day."

"I wish I were as attractive to women as I am to mosquitoes."

"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."

"A Jewish kid asks his Dad: 'Dad, can I have 50 pence please?' The father replies: '40 pence?! what do you want 30 pence for?'"

"Did you hear about the prostitute who got fired for going on strike? She just didn't give a fuck."

"I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying."

"Complicated I was playing a game the other day with a storyline that made spaghetti look like a straight line"

"""Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again!"""

"A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport."