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Joke of the Day

"My blonde gf dropped a mug on her feet, spilling her salt over her desk at work... ...Successfully sued claiming to have been mugged and assaulted"

"I am not a racist but... I am not a racist but you have to agree that Little Cesars' Five dollar piazza is a good buy."

"What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed."

"Why is statistics never anyone's favorite subject? It's just average."

"I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I'm a perfectionist.'"

"What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday? Thanks for sediments"

"Which ant is the biggest? Elephant"

"A wife asks her husband, ""Does this dress make me look fat?"" Her husband responds, ""No, that question makes you look stupid""."

"Why do bears poop in the woods? So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!"

"What do you call a sexy Muslim A ji-hottie!"