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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What is Hitler's favorite reality show? The Amazing Race"

"Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk??? Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door"

"I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1."

"What sound does a Turkey make? ""coup coup"""

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun."

"I'm doing well on my New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds I only have 15 more to go."

"Why are the only kids in Warsaw magnet schools from Central Poland? Cause North and South Poles repel each other ..."

"Reddit is like internet porn... I've seen the top scoring entries of all categories up to page 20."

"Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday."