197798

Joke of the Day

"*blood everywhere* ""What kind of ANIMAL would DO this?"" Well, that's a gazelle Jeff, so probably a lion *to other ranger* Jeff's new here"

"The Russian version of ""How I Met Your Mother"" is just a single episode showing a guy browsing a web page."

"Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where's Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that"

"Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people. They already have enough on their plates."

"What's Grey and Comes in Quarts? An Elephant."

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel? I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing."

"If you traded your windowless van for an ice cream truck or a big red sleigh you would triple your child kidnappings."

"Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" He says, ""No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"""

"Why do you need sauce with sausages? Well if you didn't have the sauce then sausages would just be ""a jizz"""

"Abra abracadabra. I wanna reach out and stab ya."