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Joke of the Day

"Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me."

"First, there was Planking, then Owling and Milking, now there's Harlem Shaking. If the next trend could be Thinking, that would be great."

"I really feel bad that 9/11 happened. If it hadn't, America wouldn't be suffering right now over the rememberance shows and lack of good television."

"I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?"

"What's the best thing about fucking a 10 year old girl? Flipping her over and pretending she's a 10 year old boy."

"Just tried to switch to Bing. Google was like, ""You can, but it'd be a real shame if some of your old searches got out."""

"captain: enemy sub approaching, activate the sauna 1st mate: dont you mean sonar captain (already in towel): full steam ahead"

"Based on how he reacts, you'd think my dog's entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys."

"My friend from Hollywood always told me, ""Shoot for the stars."" He was an assassin."

"TIL Pigeons die when they have sex At least the one I fucked did"