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Joke of the Day
"I just found out a distant relative of mine has eaten three people. It's a lot to digest"
Next Joke
"Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror."
"I always say ""goodbye"" to the Wal-Mart greeter, just to close that loop."
"He approaches me from behind and wraps his arms around me and I am breathless. With one firm and quick thrust, he dislodges my food."
"*Takes kids for sushi before seeing ""Finding Dory""*"
"The Lion King has a lot of Simbalism badumtss"
"In my 20s, I was bullied by a crow the size of a chicken for several months."
"What type pf culture is most peaceful and never gets angry? Nomads!"
"Jay-Z's voice is so beautiful. I wish he rapped about stuff I cared about."
"Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up."