132022
Joke of the Day
"I don't have Great Expectations for my son. But I got him the other 13 Dicken's Books."
Next Joke
"Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement."
"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."
"Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie? White privilege"
"Hey traveling businessmen, no need to put a lock on your carry-on. No one wants your briefcase full of boring."
"My father walks into a bar... And stays there for the rest of my childhood."
"Try this at the bars, guaranteed 18% success rate: You: Do you have a permit to carry that? Her: Carry what? You: DAT ASS! Then issue a citation with your phone # on it."
"I love being complimented on my parking skills! Someone even left a note on my windshield saying ""parking fine""."
"Halloween: The one day I can flap my arms like a bat and nobody asks any questions."
"I'm still not convinced that ""the club"" is a real place. Rap songs might as well be about hanging out in Westeros."