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Joke of the Day
"I've got a friend who's a female private investigator. Or gynecologist, as she likes to be called."
Next Joke
"People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up"
"""Must you lick the knife?"" ""Sorry,force of habit"" I said ""Loads of people do it though, don't they?"" ""Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor"""
"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch."
"How do you catch a WiFi? With an ethernet!"
"Why is Klezmer music so addictive? Once you Hava Nagila, you'll want another!"
"Me: Hey, am I too wrinkly? Daughter: You're old, that's going to happen. Me: I MEANT MY SHIRT."
"What's a pirates favorite type of thread? Yaaaaarn."
"""Turning on the dishwasher..."" Is what I call foreplay with my wife."
"What do you call a bear that will fuck anything? Bi Polar"