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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world. People who pee in the shower and people who lie about it."

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"

"My Boss complains about that i ""come"" too early in work. The Job Pornstar is Hard. :I"

"How do you piss off a feminist? Done."

"Hey scientists, you gave us Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. How about you stop playing with your dicks and give us something for cancer?"

"""BE CAREFUL! I HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS!"" She snapped."

"Me: Oh yeah, baby. Tie me up and put a blindfold on me...Grrrr. Him: Erm...I'm only here to rob the bank...and I have a boyfriend."

"We all know by now that when someone says, ""I'm sorry, I never got that text,"" they ABSOLUTELY got that text, right?"

"Just found out exercising... ...and exorcising are two very different things. Officially canceling my membership to the most terrifying gym ever. (via @wiseguypictures)"

"The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot? Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn."