74312
Joke of the Day
"""BE CAREFUL! I HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS!"" She snapped."
Next Joke
"Just ordered wonton soup Hope my apartment can hold the weight"
"[Dark humor/Offensive] The difference Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage."
"Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties"
"This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep."
"How many people need to die before we fix... ...this horrendous piano dropping problem!"
"Whoa whoa, calm the fuck down Swiffer commercials, you're a wet paper towel on a stick."
"I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting."
"What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory."
"My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around."