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Joke of the Day

"Hey scientists, you gave us Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. How about you stop playing with your dicks and give us something for cancer?"

"""Hi-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""Do y-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""Excuse m-"" ""I have a boyfriend."" ""I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS."""

"Dear Internet, Once and for all, I agree to ALL ""the terms and conditions"" that have or will ever exist. Jeez!"

"How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb? One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her."

"Life advice: If someone ever tells you ""I'll be there in thirty minutes"", you should ALWAYS respond with ""You've got twenty"" and hang up."

"Women v/s men"

"GOOD COP: Give us a name! PERP: Never! TED TALK COP: Imagine a world where every single human has- PERP: Okay I'll talk, please just stop!"

"It's unlucky to glance over your shoulder while wearing a sweater made of rabbit wool... Don't look back in angora."

"Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood"

"Interviewer: Are you good at programming? Me: Yes, I'm very good at writing nondeterministic C++ programs. Interviewer gives me the job. #nerdjokes"