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Joke of the Day

"Hey scientists, you gave us Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. How about you stop playing with your dicks and give us something for cancer?"

"A masked priest just threw some holy water at me... ... I think it was a blessing in disguise."

"Have you ever tried to eat your own watch? Well it's very time consuming."

"FRIEND: and this is my pug PUG: oink ME: (thinkig to self) did that pug just say ""oink"""

"Tried to catch fog the other day... Mist"

"There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"

"What grows on Seasame Street? I dunno, a Grover something."

"Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys."

"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"

"A masochist and a sadist are having an argument. The masochist says, ""Whip me! Whip me! Beat me! Beat me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""