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Joke of the Day

"If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off."

"Did you hear about the jihadist birthday party? It was a blast."

"My interviewer kept getting annoyed at me... ...when I kept responding to each question with the same question - only in a really sarcastic way. Apparently, I don't know what a ""mock interview"" means."

"Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only cums once a year!"

"Weekend special: What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible hulk? My zipper"

"How do you call a cross-dressing father of two? Transparent"

"You can tell if your gold chain is fake... ...by leaving the room and listening to see if it talks crap about you to other jewelry."

"I could not have sex with a man..... because I could never fuck something I respect. (Jim Jefferies)"

"Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT."

"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""