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Joke of the Day
"*Picks up extra virgin olive oil. *smirks* ""Not for long my friend. Not for long."""
Next Joke
"What has 4 eyes and cannot see? Mississippi."
"What kind of money do religious businesses make? Prophet."
"Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says ""What's up, Doc?"" he's legitimately concerned."
"""Is there a genius in the house?! It's an emergency!"" *I start to get up from table* *wife discretely stops me* *I silently agree with wife*"
"It sucks being a dick. Your best friend is a pussy, and your closest friend is an asshole.*a real asshole*"
"I'm not allowed to use the credit card anymore, last month I bought 43 falcons"
"I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows."
"My computer sings. It's a Dell."
"I want a girl who asks me to do things that I have to Google."