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Joke of the Day

"I'm not allowed to use the credit card anymore, last month I bought 43 falcons"

"A surprising number of people, even in 2010, lack the depth perception to sit in the right airplane row on the first try."

"Hitler Maybe Hitler was just a fitness trainer and he was helping all the Jews burn a few calories"

"A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex... called Predickamints."

"Woke up 4 times to pee last night And each time only a little came out, my night of sleep was piss-poor"

"I learned that Honey Bees in the United States developed a form of electronics - they're called U.S. Bees."

"I have a short cubing joke I made up. CFOP will bring the cubers solvation! Explanation: CFOP is a method of solving the Rubik's cube, hence SOLVation."

"I hate when people ask what I hope to be doing in 5 years time. I mean come on, I don't have 2020 vision."

"My mum said I couldn't go out past 12. My teenage years are going to be very lonely."

"When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what? We do."