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Joke of the Day

"My son got very excited about all the toys he found when I cleaned behind the couch, I should have waited till Christmas morning to do that"

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""

"Who annoyed Polyphemus even more then Odysseus? Nobody"

"A 13-pound baby was born in GERMANY?? C'mon Mississippi, this is why we keep you around"

"Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk."

"TIFU By having one night stand It broke and I don't have another to replace it with"

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand A neutron walks into a bar, and asks: ""How much for a drink?"". To which the bartender replies: ""For you, no charge"""

"Don't you hate it when people ask for upvotes? Upvote if you agree."

"How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name address and blood group."