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Joke of the Day

"I haven't talked to my girlfriend for the last couple days because of my addiction to this new game. I think The Division is really starting to get to her."

Next Joke
 
"I'm wearing black today so powdered sugar donuts seem like a solid choice."
"So I started up my PC today and all the work on my thesis was gone Who let the .docx out?"
"Love is fun, but it's not going to pay the bills its a lol"
"Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future... Rush Hour 4!"
"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."
"[Cop arresting a centipede] *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *clink* *opens crate of new handcuffs* *clink* *clink* *clin"
"1. Buy Dick Cheney's memoir. 2. Tie it to a board. 3. Pour water on it. 4. Demand the truth. 5. Fail to get it."
"Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED! Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?"
"What do you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man!"