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Joke of the Day

"I'm wearing black today so powdered sugar donuts seem like a solid choice."

"The avengers walk into a bar Except vision. He phased."

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"Please deposit all your anti-jokes here:"

"If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite."

"I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?"

"If my girlfriend slept with the whole Wu-Tang Clan, we'd have to break up because I wouldn't be cool enough to date her anymore."

"Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements? He needed to have an Even Flow."

"Why does Donald Trump tweet stuff at 3am? Because it's almost afternoon in Russia at that time."

"What do you get when you drop a Piano on an army base? A flat major."