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Joke of the Day
"I'm wearing black today so powdered sugar donuts seem like a solid choice."
Next Joke
"After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs. If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me."
"What do you call a depressed cow? A mooooope"
"My sense of humor is so sophisticated... ...it's not even funny."
"My girlfriend is like a Chipmunk... She's tiny, fluffy, and has a horrible voice."
"Hey, did you hear that Carbon and Oxygen broke up? Yeah, it turns out their relationship was actually pretty toxic. Personally, I never saw it."
"VERY difficult to convince the apple store people that you've only ever dropped your phone 3 times if you dropped it twice in the store."
"More retailers should adopt the ""Leave A Penny / Take A Penny"" system. It is literally, common cents."
"Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar"
"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them"