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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a rich Asian? *Cha Ching!*"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm? Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour."
"Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with large tits? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"
"Me: *disappears for a few weeks* Friends: *No concern* Me: *Posts inspirational quote on FB* Friends: Dude, you okay? You need to talk?"
"My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof. A joke my mate told me after an after-hours lesson."
"What are Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Theresa May doing in a room together? ...playing bridge."
"I just overheard a woman tell her son ""We don't lick other people, it's gross"" and now I'm reevaluating so many choices I've made."
"How can you make seven even? Take away the letter S."
"Whenever someone tells me ""make yourself at home"" at their house, I always clog their toilet"