197048

Joke of the Day

"Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10? Because seven, eight, nine."

"I set my alarm clock to play Alice in Chains I call it my morning ""Would?"""

"The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd."

"I'm really glad that Obama won in 2008 and was able to be the first black president of the United States of America his back up job was to be the first white president of Kenya."

"For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction."

"[meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese"

"When you order a cocktail at a gay bar what do you get? A dickbutt."

"I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial"

"You're legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band's Greatest Hits."

"I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket"