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Joke of the Day

"[meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese"

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? ...he got the gas bill"

"There's no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants."

"I just threw away all the toilet paper in the office so this day is about to get interesting."

"What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers"

"Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school."

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The barman says ""sorry, we don't serve food here."""

"I think I must have a leather allergy because whenever I wake up with my shoes on I have a headache."

"*hops off a horse* alright buddy, your turn"

"I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?"