197029

Joke of the Day

"(Blows you a kiss with chip crumbs hitting your face)"

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"What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog."
"Love means never having to say you're sorry for accidentally bringing home six more cats."
"Why did Ted get fired from his job? Because he would only do the _bear_ minimum?"
"I have to take a Viagra when I take an Ambien. It keeps me from rolling off the bed."
"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"
"My head is throbbing, maybe i have amnesia nah, I don't remember hitting my head"
"Oh my god, my jeans fit! All I have to do is not sit down, not walk, and not breathe. I totally got this."
"Two Thai girls offered me a threesome. It was like winning the lottery. When we stripped off we had six matching balls."
"My dick is so big that if I laid it out on the keyboard... ...I would probably be escorted out of the Mac store."