197029

Joke of the Day

"(Blows you a kiss with chip crumbs hitting your face)"

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"What did the blond do with her asshole in the morning? Pack him a lunch and tell him to go to work!"
"Me: goodnight moon Moon: It's 6pm Me: I know but I'm tired Moon: I literally just got here"
"3 days before Christmas, my wife drops her 2007-era iPhone in a public toilet. I get the hint. She wants me to get her a much cheaper phone."
"I went to the Doctor for a checkup, and he started shoving toy horses up my ass He looked up and told me my condition was 'stable'"
"My favourite part about playing video games is probably thwarting evil. You never get to thwart anything in real life. I like to thwart."
"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later"
"Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads."
"Why don't women need to go to college? Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich."
"A sitcom about teen girl aliens called UFOMG."