196951

Joke of the Day

"I lost sixty pounds in two seconds with diet and exercise and Photoshop!"

"""Because it would be hilarious,"" is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president."

"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? About one U.S Leader."

"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."

"My girlfriend is a pornstar Shes going to kill me once she finds out,"

"One time an electrician came home drunk at four o'clock in the morning. ""Wire you insulate?"" his wife scolded. ""Watts it to you?"" he snapped. ""I'm ohm, ain't I?"""

"Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient, and thus are incapable of feeling fear."

"Big girls are like mopeds I'll get drunk and wreck them too."

"Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10"

"The closest I have ever come to being involved in a threesome was when having sex with a ventriloquist. I was stoned and VERY confused."