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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor."

"What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap? You did that on porpoise"

"Want to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit!"

"What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her? You're getting too wrapped up in your work!"

"I used the word ""procreate"" at work today... ... and a pregnant girl asked me what it meant."

"How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once? [deleted]"

"Sound produced by group of mathematicians working together That's the sound of the men working on the chain rule"

"Mechanic said I blew a seal... Technically, it was a sea lion, but more importantly, how did he even know?"

"How do you know if an introvert likes you? He looks at your shoes instead of his"

"The Dark Knight Rises.....a porn title that requires no alterations."