196904

Joke of the Day

"I just saw a ""The Flash"" porn parody... ...the movie lasted one second."

"What do you call a fake noodle an impasta"

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? There's no rest for the wicked."

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"

"Getting a girlfriend is a lot like getting a car The more money you have, the more options you have."

"I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat."

"I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if my hair really was ginger.. Then again I just wish people would talk to me"

"The Energizer Bunny stole the Morton's girl umbrella. It was assault with battery!"

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"Mummies might be scarier if they weren't called mummies. Brits call their Moms that. Suggestion: Psycho Rotting Corpse Wrapped In Gauze."